What Happened in the 1980’s? Well … These 101 Bitchin’ Things!

Ever sit back in your old-man chair, or your old-woman chair and think to yourself … “Self, what the hell happened in the 1980s?”.

I understand that dilemma, the one where you can’t remember all the cool crap that went down during the greatest decade of them all.

I mean, if you lived through the 80s, then you’re getting up there, by definition.

Like I said before — I know all about that.

Fortunately, I started this little list here of bitchin’ things from those candy-coated years before things started going south for me.

I’ll update it from time to time, too, when my memory flashes back online for a few seconds.

For now, though, here are 101 of the greatest “What happened in the 1980s?” memories any geezer could ever hope to dredge up …

  1. The Space Shuttle
  2. 1984 LA Olympics
  3. 1980 Olympic boycott
  4. Big hair
  5. Big colors
  6. Big money
  7. Michael Jackson looked in the mirror.
  8. Leg warmers
  9. Bring down that wall!
  10. John Lennon was alive (for a little while).
  11. Ronald Reagan
  12. ALF
  13. Cabbage Patch Kids
  14. Garbage Pail Kids
  15. Millennial’s parents, in their prime
  16. Ferris Bueller got a day off
  17. Alex P. Keaton
  18. We partied like it was 1999
  19. Hair bands
  20. Grunge bands were born
  21. Baseball cards became big business.
  22. The Super Bowl Shuffle
  23. Billy Joel did not start a fire.
  24. High school
  25. Grade school
  26. Junior high school
  27. Puberty
  28. Driver’s license
  29. Thriller
  30. Cyndi Lauper
  31. Swirlies
  32. The seniors put a car in the pool.
  33. The seniors put a car on the roof.
  34. The seniors nailed the desks to the ceiling.
  35. The seniors smoked Mr. Franklin’s weed.
  36. The seniors blew off their last semester.
  37. The ex-seniors lurked around trying to pick up underclass girls the next fall.
  38. Mrs. Drake seduced Tommy Pell in the broom closet. Swear to God.
  39. Summer camp
  40. Sally Mayne wore that one bathing suit.
  41. Vacations to nowhere
  42. Midnight basketball
  43. Fist fights over girls
  44. Marching band
  45. Friday night football
  46. Tuesday, Friday, and Saturday night basketball
  47. American Legion baseball
  48. Sun on Easter morning — always
  49. Snow on Christmas — always
  50. Downhill bike races on gravel roads with no helmets … or shirts … or shoes
  51. Two front teeth for Christmas
  52. Atari
  53. Commodore 64
  54. Apple
  55. Spin the bottle
  56. Judy Blume
  57. Beverly Cleary
  58. Watership Down
  59. Endless summers
  60. Endless Christmas breaks
  61. Dad took vacation at Spring Break.
  62. Purple Passion Proms
  63. Tire swings
  64. Innertube trampolines
  65. Free puppies
  66. Three TV stations
  67. Four TV stations, later on
  68. PBS … because you had to watch Sesame Street and Mr. Rogers no matter how old you got.
  69. Fred Simmons got that big pimple on his forehead. F you Freddie!
  70. Tina Lasko in her new glasses
  71. Your best friend got a Mustang.
  72. It was a convertible.
  73. “You Shook Me All Night Long”
  74. “Panama”
  75. “Pour Some Sugar on Me”
  76. “Legs”
  77. High school dances after the game
  78. Amps so loud you still can’t feel your left nut
  79. Shop class
  80. Home economics
  81. Grandparents to salve the wounds your parents inflicted
  82. Dogs we loved
  83. Icicles on the Christmas tree (damn straight!)
  84. Saturday Night Live … watchable!
  85. Your dreams were intact.
  86. Aerobics
  87. Aerobic outfits
  88. Mullets
  89. World War II vets got cranky.
  90. World War I vets were still alive.
  91. Baby Boomers ruled the world.
  92. Your dad could do anything.
  93. You thought you might be able to someday, too.
  94. Kissing was everything.
  95. The Wonder Years
  96. Yogi’s First Christmas
  97. PB Max
  98. You could still get a Burger Chef hamburger.
  99. The Empire Strikes Back
  100. Colonel Sanders and Alfred Hitchcock breathed (briefly).
  101. El Pollo Loco made its U.S. debut.
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