What were you favorite 1980s Christmas decorations?
If you’re like me, some of them probably seem kinda frightening now — animated elves, aluminum trees, lights big and hot enough to burn down a neighborhood. But back then, they were all great.
And, really, they’re all still great. Sometimes, you just have to swallow your fears and yuletide on.
To help out with that, here are some groovy 1980s Christmas decorations you may have forgotten about.
Disco Stars
Hey, Christmas is traditional, so it took it a decade to catch up to the disco craze.
Icicles
It’s not a 1980s Christmas tree if you can see the branches through the shiny silver plastic hair, just like it’s not kid’s spaghetti if you can see the noodles under the parmesan.
Grandma’s Tree
You can almost smell the Bengay and taste the dog-hair-covered hard candy.
Plastic Nativity
“And then the three wise men brought naugahyde trinkets to the celluloid babe, and the little dummy boy played his saran wrap drum.”
King of the Elves
Santa won’t come if I’m awake? No, I’m good — who needs sleep?
Frosty Vandalism
I can’t tell you how many of my teachers got arrested for “decorating” the local courthouse.
Outer Limits Yuletide Disk
Do not adjust your tree. Do not turn on the light. Do not pass go. We are in control of your Christmas palette.
Hell’s Bells
Satan Claus is coming … to town.
Death in a Pretty Package
These are the cyanide pills of Christmas. If you slip up and buy your wife the wrong gift, you can always smash one of these on the floor and go for your jugular.
Vision Board
It’s fine. Santa expects you to be obsessed with him.
Darwin’s Chimney
A cardboard fireplace? Sounds good. I mean, what could possibly go wrong. Right?
